The Forest Grove Police Department is lying to you

A big change is coming to the Forest Grove Police Department's K9 unit, the city's law enforcement department said in a totally legit post made on April Fools' Day.

Per the department, "the Forest Grove Police Department is pleased to announce that its elite new K9 unit will deploy on April 1, 2025," the department announced, again, April 1.

Really.

It's a big change from the usual larger breed dogs law enforcement agency's typically use, the department said. "Unlike traditional K9 teams of German Shepherds or Belgian Malinois utilized by many law enforcement agencies, the Forest Grove squad will be entirely composed of FGPD staff members’ pets which come in all shapes, sizes, breeds and backgrounds," the department said in a social media post .

Lauren Quinsland, possibly the city's foremost writer of comedy on any day, not just April Fools' Day, is the Forest Grove Police Department Outreach Officer, and is responsible for the department's day-to-day social media posting, which frequently incorporates humor.

Forest Grove will soon have a K9 unit made up of sixteen dogs of varying ages and breeds—bull mastiffs, Labradors, poodles, labradoodles, multiple ‘mutts,’ as well as a Yorkie, Frenchie, Corgi, and a one-eyed Chihuahua—the department asserted.

Optimistically, Police Chief Henry Reimann said, “we have a good mix.”

One member is a trained hunting dog and another a certified therapy dog, the department said, noting that most also specialize in "personal home protection."

Levels of experience for the dogs varies from rookies of just a few months to "veterans approaching almost 113 years old in dog years," the department said. The department did not immediately respond to a request for comment on the appropriate use of a K9 well past typical retirement age.

Some challenges have already arose. Quinsland, handler for a pug/beagle mix named AelaVex, said preparing for deployment hasn't always been easy. “AelaVex is 17 human-years old. Her night vision isn’t what it was and she’s almost entirely deaf - but she can still detect a refrigerator opening a mile away and respond within seconds,” Quinsland explained. “If we have any burglars unwrapping string cheese, I can almost guarantee she’ll track them down in an instant.” Read the whole post on Facebook.